Not So Pretty Anymore...

I received my dress today...

My first Angelic Pretty dress~

It's beautiful and I love it, but my joy for its beauty is shadowed by some ugliness and darkness of the day (._.)

We, (my local Lolita community), often discuss our fears and scary stories of what part of the Lolita community can be like here in the US--and I've gotten my first taste of it at the start of my morning (>w<) I tried very hard to keep it from getting to me, that I had more important priorities to attend to, that I couldn't let these thoughts and feelings affect me during my first week of school, but I had already been having a shit week, so it just piled on top and I can't wait for the weekend to hide away from the world (>_>) I've had my fill of people for one week~

Because of this taste of ugliness, it makes me have less of an appreciation for Lolita fashion... (._.) Which makes me sad I can't admire my dress simply for my own personal love for the fashion. I forgot that there is a difference between people who love fashion and people who only love a fashion. And this is not a topic that is openly discussed in a fashion specific community.

I don't know why I even have a blog now, one that is open to the public; I'm not a journalist who wants the criticism and can take the comment bashing on what I felt like saying just to express it :/

Which is why I tend to go on hibernation a lot and keep to myself. Because even though they say, "You learn more about yourself through people", I actually keep to myself because I don't want people to change what I already feel and know I like.

I'll have to post on my dress another time. Not in this post where it is tainted with sadness (>.>)