A Collection of Just What I Love

As I soon prepare to assess my possessions and undergo a journey to simplify, organize, pay off my debt, and find myself in the process, I marinate over the thoughts I have read over in the last passages of Simple Abundance:

"...Mrs. Lindbergh's advice: 'To ask how little, not how much, can I get along with. To say--is it necessary?--when I am tempted to add one more accumulation to my life.' If I think I can't live without the object of desire and I can afford it, I'll collect it. But now I pause first. Simple Abundance is not about saying "no" to our creative impulses, whether in collecting, dressing, or decorating. It's about knowing when to say "enough" because we know that all we have is all we really need. "One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few.'"

It will be an implemented process in narrowing my collection to what I love--consider it as such places like a museum or fancy boutique that house only the best ^_~

I want to train my eye to be discriminating to what I love and for my heart to be patient if what I have or come across is not completely what I wanted--satisfying, not settling :3

"What Every Woman Should Do Once"

So I have this tiny little gift book I bought awhile back that lists a few things that every woman should do once; one of them being, "try on very expensive clothes in a boutique that you know you can't afford."

After leaving a resell shop, a couple stores down from it, I passed by a fancy dress shop. There was a white dress with floral appliques on a mannequin that I noticed earlier and wanted to check out and possibly get a picture of~ Walking in, I came upon an amazing dress in a similar style--ballerina tutu with floral embroidered appliques & a pleated cumber bun tied into a bow~

I thought to myself, after looking at the price tag of three hundred fifty dollars, that this was one of those moments I should take up to try on a dress I can't afford XD

Uhh~ It was gorgeous, like a spring garden party dress that was slightly reminiscent of the Ice Capades XD

And my the sales associate was friendly! I told her I had never had an experience like this before--being asked if I needed heels or a push-up strapless bra o.o How classy :o

At first I didn't think I was going to try on any more dresses but once I walked towards the entrance, where I originally found the dress, I happened upon two extras--why not? I don't do this everyday!

Oh~pink, and just my size! The first was a 4 which she said they can take in for $25. This pink was a 0 and fit me perfectly :3

And the last... just about happen to be my favorite as the sales associate asked...

Now I would have to be utterly stupid & reckless to buy any of these dresses in my current state; tell me why the sales associate knew to inform me that they had layaway? Xp

You can't imagine... I could find the money to get this dress but it wouldn't go to the most important causes that needed it -_- And yet I'm am still and always surprised that I can get one thing over another as I have several other dresses on my wish list in that price range and/or less but I would instantly let this precede them @_@ My goodness its just too beautiful...just too unique... Which is why I love it soo much >.<

The passage in today's reading was about collecting, but how the collector has a discriminating eye only to what she loves~ and as it turns out, fashion is what I collect...

Film Noir Fatale - A 1940's Dress

WAAAAHHHHHH OH MY GOOOOSHHHH!!! :O

A vintage dress I've been watching/admiring for the past couple of weeks I had intended to some how obtain eventually. Oh my, it was gorgeous and I was star struck XP

The title it held was "FILM NOIR FATALE" 1940's Vintage Dress--they absolutely knew what image to conjure with that title ;) The seller had put up a sale until May 31. This dress was marked down from an extraordinary price of $174.99 to $59.99. I waited and let it sit there in an open tab to admire it as my current situation didn't provide the means to purchase it right away.

Today I had playfully added it to my cart, (mind you this was on Etsy), then abandoned it to give myself time to marinate on it while I focused on my more important priorities--completing the final chapters for my management final tomorrow.

After casually browsing and admiring the dress again, guess what? She MARKED IT DOWN AGAIN TO $49.99!!! Ahhhhhhhh! You can imagine my excitement XD How awesome is that? Thank you Goldmine Trash, the Lord, time, & waiting to make this dress more financially sound for me :3 Yay

The Competition for Material Wealth is Self-Destructive

I have so much that I can't even appreciate all of what I have. It drives me in circles that a lot of the times I can no longer think clearly that I'd rather not think so much into them and simply post em up for sale :/ I'm pretty sure the freedom it gives me after will be well worth more than holding on to them ever was XD I wonder though~

Some of the things I want in exchange give me a bit more motivation to...

But just money in general, and stuff in general, is not good busy work to occupy one's self with--it's self-generated stress x_x Just plain retarded >_>

Weight On My Mind

So yesterday I realized that I tend to get so confused because I don't have a plan. A lot of my fashion and decorating is pretty random. I also remembered learning in my Management - Organizational Behavior class that artistic people tend to be unstructured. How true this is; I've met so many artistic people who have piles of unfinished projects waiting to be finished. Getting excited with so many ideas that after starting one, get bored and initiate something else XP

I told myself this as comfort to be understanding with myself :3 But of course, I wondered, isn't there still a way to become more structured and balanced eventually? o.o Just doesn't seem the right kind of lifestyle to be living, and I wonder if its something to come to accept or just a change of habit to nurture and support with time?

Anyways, the reading for today helped me define my thoughts from the night before. When bringing order and organization to a room, it shouldn't be done all in one shot because it will become overwhelming and there will be no sense of success and accomplishment~ It's exactly what was going on with me yesterday. I spent the entire weekend prepping and posting sales online that I overwhelmed myself and couldn't think clearly anymore, getting myself lost and not gaining any sense of accomplishment x_x

"...each successful attempt at organizing only reinforces your feelings of taking back control of your life. I had never really considered how being disorganized beneath the surface had weighed upon my mind. ...it had cost me only time (to plan), courage (to show up for work), and creative energy (to do it)."

My disorganization beneath the surface very much weighs on my mind, this is what I would like to tackle during my summer vacation :3

Yet Another Questionable Item...

I've often questioned this item wondering how the heck to use it/wear it, as it went from my rack of clothes to sell, to hanging it on my wall as the image was simply too nice to wear & was overtaking the whole scarf that there wasn't a way to wear it and see its full beauty... :/

On and off I'd constantly think whether to sell it or hold on to it for future uses as a lovely wall display.

I would get a decent profit from it considering my financial circumstances & goals... As I thought to carry on with the preparations of selling this piece, I wasn't satisfied with the first set of pictures I took, it just wouldn't capture the audience with them, so I took another~ And look at the results, its so beautiful that it gives me ideas and feelings to hold on to it >.<>_>

I had thought to myself earlier, before writing this, 'if I question it so much, maybe I shouldn't keep it'. I had tried to put into action, & keep in mind, the reading for today, questioning the item if it was beautiful, useful, or sentimental, also to write out my thoughts so I can make better decisions :3

I thought to myself that if I had this hung up as a decorative display, I don't think I'd enjoy its beauty well enough to keep it because I question it so much. I am trying to narrow down my collection to things I love. Sometimes I factor in an item's use as display in my own store~ But then I remember that I wanted to do online retail XP Ah, you never know -_- But maybe I shouldn't factor in the future too much in my decisions @_@

Bah! I still don't know x_x

In Exchange for That

So last night, surveying my room, after a day of posting sales online, I looked to things I could give up and to my wish board with pictures of the items I deeply want to obtain, and said to myself, 'I would trade these in for those'~

And how ironic, but incredibly helpful, that today's daily read from Sarah Ban Breathnach's "Simple Abundance" should discuss that topic :3

"Have nothing in your homes that you do not know to be useful and believe to be beautiful." - William Morris

She referred to it as the "aesthetic alchemy of beauty and function in the home"--I really liked that XD

'While surveying your home "let the Divine spirits of simplicity, order, harmony, and beauty accompany you".' Considering last night, I was doing this already. I was allowing my authentic self to speak to me and trust her wisdom in selecting items that didn't justly serve me and would greatly serve another ^.^

She created three categories: beautiful, useful, & sentimental. 'Does it tug at your heartstrings or on someone else? If it does so on another, put it in their room.'

"Think on paper before you act..." I realized this yesterday from my last blog, how much it helped for me to write & consider my thoughts before I act :3

*"There is an ancient metaphysical law that says if we desire more abundance in our lives we must create a vacuum to allow ourselves to receive the good we seek. How can more good come into our lives if there is no room for it? We create the vacuum by giving away what we no longer need or desire but what can serve others."

This was the best visual description she could give me, and it's what I'm gonna do and live by. Everything that's been happening lately has lead up to this definition. I very much find joy in finding a happy home for the things I own that someone else finds great pleasure in :D And what's more, I'm making room for the greater things I do want to come into my life ^0^

Oh My Gosh, I Want to Keep This...

It's Saturday and I have set the intent to take the day and dedicate it to posting sales online--I seriously need money.

The vintage dresses I have were from a vintage dress lot I purchased and there were a few I liked and wanted to keep, but after coming into a situation of needing the money more, I decided I didn't really need them as they were not my true size anyways; let someone else enjoy them :) they would go for a good price as well :3

This tends to happen; I begin to take pictures of an item and prepare it for selling, then I start to second guess giving it up because of its beauty~ Call them sirens and I'm a weak, foolish sailor on the ship with Odysseus -_-

But the work it would take to make it mine would be too much :/ The dress is a large and would need to be taken in. The skirt is serged to the top and in addition to that, the skirt is pleated x____x

Being away from it and blogging about it right now actually weakens the power of its siren call :] When I pass a glance at it and see its size, I feel a bit more at ease giving it to someone who will enjoy it--and fit it! XD

Thank you for letting me talk about this. I'm glad this is helping me marinate on my thoughts :3

An Endless Dance with Fashion

I seem to always and forever be defining myself... And it feels I hardly ever reach the ground~

In the daily read for today in Sarah Ban Breathnach's Simple Abundance, it touched on charm, that it is not bought with money through beautiful things, but expressed through personal authenticity and with an "artistic disposition of little"--making do with less.

I am often questioning the things I own because I look to them as a source of obtaining more things I fall for and paying off the debt I've accumulated from the same trancelike dance~I'm constantly spinning.

I am very analytical but I tend to run myself around in circles questioning:

• Am I just downsizing my collection because of other people's ideas of acceptable?
• How would I feel if I did just casually give up the bulk of my stuff?
• Is this just who I am and I just happen to constantly question it because of what other people think is right?
• Do I keep my things because of competition or because I don't want someone else to be the owner?
• Is fashion worn only advertising? o.o
  

I have found out a few things about myself: I am pretty attached to my things just as my love has said...same as my twin...but I tend to second guess giving something up because of its potential uses. Which brings me to other thoughts.

There was a time my twin said that it wasn't that I had so much, but that I didn't have the proper space for it, because I keep it very organized with the space that I do have~

Thing is, there are other aspects to me that tend to go into my owning my possessions. They are my assets and my props. My fashion is my art and creativity. I am also a performer and theatrical, in a sense that I like making a statement out of my clothing. One thought was that if I did have the proper space, boy would I love to open my own clothing rental! XD I enjoy fashion, I admire it quiet avidly~ Consider my collection a museum :P

I also have a bit of an affair with business. I have always been in the business of buying & reselling, and I do enjoy it. It had occurred to me that maybe this two-step back into my old habit could be for me to learn how to enjoy beauty, but this time not become so attached with it; I mean, how can one run a resell shop falling in love with every piece she gets? Nothing would ever get sold! >.>

I guess you could say what all this is is that I tend to run away with my creativity more than my rationality. I tend to be more of a dreamer then logical and methodical~

Well, eventually I'll get it right XP

I never regretted the lessons I've learned in the past, so I'm thankful for them~ I tend to want to be the best person I can be, and it seems I'm never settled because there is always something more, I want to go so deep that I want to sense and feel every ripple of the water within myself and in others--must be that wanting to be in connection with others. I feel it's the closest I can be to people in life.

Back tracking on how all this started, I know it started with me getting the most money I've made from selling my things in March. I became comfortable with feeling secure about having enough to go out with friends and not worry about money; feeling secure that I had money in my checking, and savings! I got carried away and too comfortable and didn't manage the feeling well nor the money (>.<)